Ra's Weasel Cookie
by Sophia Angelia
Summary: Because we all want to know what a weasel cookie is. Setting is after Throne of Fire. I decided to write this purely out of fun, so please enjoy and tell me if I'm coincidentally copying anyone.


**Ra's Weasel Cookie**

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><p>The sun boat was very hot today. Why shouldn't it be? It <em>was<em> the middle of summer, after all. Horus sighed and paced the length of the boat again. He played the events from this morning in his head, wondering how he had got stuck with this annoying job.

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><p>"Would you mind guarding the sun boat today?" Bast had approached Horus just before sunrise. "I have to teach a class today, and it's very important."<p>

"Can't you postpone the lesson, or get someone else to do you job for you? You already promised yesterday you'd take today." Horus had tried to avoid this job for a while now.

"I can't. Today is the finals, and I _have_ to go." Bast looked like she was going to get on her knees and beg. "No one else will help me. Just do the day run, and I'll take night, okay?"

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><p>"I can't believe I agreed to this." Horus sat at the bow, looking at Europe as it passed below.<p>

From his throne of fire, Ra muttered in his sleep, "Weasels are sick."

Hours passed, and Horus even resorted to tapping into Carter's senses to pass the time. Carter was apparently in the middle of conducting a Magic Problem-solving exam. He watched as trainees blew up things in the training room, then marked the scores on a paper. Horus couldn't help but laugh when he saw one kid summoned about a hundred penguins to solve his problem.

A loud _clang _somewhere on the sun boat brought Horus back to his chore. Looking over, he realized that Ra wasn't on his throne. Walking to the back of the boat, Horus found Ra bent over a ceramic mixing bowl, attempting to stir the contents of the bowl with his crook. Horus watched over Ra's shoulder as he then proceeded to dump everything in the bowl, probably cookie dough, onto a large rectangular baking sheet. Ra then placed another baking sheet on top of the first, with the blob of dough squished in the middle, and waddled back to his throne with the baking sheets in hand. Horus followed back the front of the boat.

Horus watched, speechless, as Ra placed the baking sheet sandwich on the throne, and sat on top of it. "I don't think you're supposed to do that." Horus stepped forward to try and pull Ra off the baking sheets, but then decided against it. After about a minute, Ra got off and took the baking sheets apart to reveal a perfectly baked mound of cookie.

"Weasel cookie!" Ra beamed, showing Horus what he had made.

Horus stared at the weasel cookie for a moment, then reached out and grabbed hold of the tray. "Do you want me to have it?" he asked.

"Want a cookie." Ra said, a little annoyed. He pulled the tray back.

"Do I get the cookie or not?" Horus asked, confused and frustrated, and started to pull even harder. It continued like this for a while, a literal tug-of-war between the two gods, slowly escalating, until Horus got the message. Realizing that the cookie was not mean for him, Horus let go suddenly, causing Ra to fall on his butt. The cookie, however, was less fortunate. It sailed off the tray, over the side, and into the Atlantic Ocean miles below.

The two gods leaned over the side of the boat to watch it fall, hit the surface, and sink below the waves.

"Uh... sorry?" Horus chuckled nervously.

"Uh-oh." Ra scowled at Horus with the angriest face that a senile god could make. "Uh-oh, _in the water."_

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><p>"Horus, why are you covered in burn marks?" Bast looked at him, a quizzical expression written on her face. The sun boat was in dry docks, getting prepped for the nightly journey. Bast had shown up like she promised, and was now switching places with Horus. Half his face was covered with burns.<p>

Horus looked at her sourly. "Don't. Ask."

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><p><strong>~End~<strong>

**A/N: This story was inspired by the time I made vanilla weasel cookies for my friend. I think I overdid them a little... **

**I feel kind of bad doing this to poor Horus. How about you? I hope everyone enjoys it nonetheless! **

**Depending on how many people laugh and favorite, I might add another chapter but featuring another character's quirks. I'm also accepting ideas for future stories of the same nature. Please post your comments on who I should write about next!**

**Update: I'm sorry, everyone. I'm stuck on a writier's block, so I'm afraid that this will remain a one-shot story. Feel free to take inspiration from this and contionue the story on your own if you like, but know that I will not be updating this story. Ever.**

**READ ON!**

**-SA ;P**


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